HOW DARE YOU? An Open Letter to Narendra Damodardas Modi

Respected Prime Minister Narendra Damodardas Modi jiu

I am writing this letter to share my outrage against You and Your government.

But because my parents have taught me to be nice, let me be nice first – I hope You and Your family are keeping safe and sound in your house. I also pray that may you not go a little crazy like the rest of us because we need the person-in-charge to be functioning at full capacity.

Now that the niceties are over, let me come straight to the point – HOW DARE YOU?

We were enjoying our life to the fullest, and one fine day out of the blue you announced a one-day lockdown. We took it in our stride, assuming it to be one of your crazy wild ideas like the demonetization, or that idiotic surgical strike. You then imposed 21 days of country-wide lockdown, for what? Had it not been for the fact that we have been well trained in the art of GharBhitraJanta during our Andolan days, by now you would have seen rebellion of epic proportions against your illogical decision in the streets of Darjeeling and Kalimpong already.

So what if our beloved Didi had announced statewide lockdown two days before you did, HOW DARE YOU?

No, we don’t have ventilators, what’s that even? And of course we don’t have negative pressure chamber that is generally found in a hospital treating viral diseases. We also don’t have proper hospital infrastructure, equipment or adequate testing kits. But that doesn’t mean you have any right to question our state government. As one of our beloved leader Mr. NoO’Brain said yesterday, ‘West Bengal is known all over the world for one thing and one thing only – GOOD GOVERNANCE’, so HOW DARE YOU?

We haven’t followed the lockdown strictly – because we are not chicken to be cooped in a khor– are we? We are human beings with human needs. We may survive without air or water for a month, but HOW DARE YOU challenge our right to GUFFING?

See Mr Modi jiu we are by nature a curious bunch, You may think that I am merely ranting but ask around. We are the people who came out of our homes by thousands to see what Curfew looks like when it was first imposed back in 1986. The cat may have survived curiosity, but 13 of our people were shot to death in Kalimpong for being over curious, and here you expect us to not go out and see what’s going on?? We need to GUFF. We need to see who is not following the lockdown by heading to town in droves. Why are you grudging us our inbuilt pleasure? Are you anti-Pleasure? Stay at home you say. HOW DARE YOU?

So what if a few doctors and nurses in our state contract Coronavirus due to the lack of PPE kits or adequate preventive measures? Please tell me, who died and made you the monitor? Why do you have to stick your unwanted nose in our state of affairs? We are not complaining about our state of affairs, HOW DARE YOU?

Recently, YOUR PIB only told the whole world that Kalimpong District hasn’t seen any new cases in the last 14-days. The great National mouthpieces of the party in power celebrated the news as an ‘Approval of our Chairman’s great leadership’ with a full-page spread and colour photographs to boot. So what if in other places false positives and false negatives have been rampant, and people cured have also tested positive later. HOW DARE YOU spread FAKE NEWS by sending an Inter-Ministerial Team to investigate nothing? Be honest, what will you Investigate?? Go investigate Adani, Ambani instead.

Seems like You don’t check Facebook regularly? Do you? Despite all your talks of ‘Digital India’ you seem to be oblivious to the amazingness of our politicians. I’d advise you to visit Facebook. Urgently. Especially Darjeeling related Facebook pages. You will find that our region has been SAVED ALREADY. Our beloved politicians have cured everyone by their miraculous presence. HOW DARE YOU send an Inter-Ministerial Central Team now? I suspect you are sending the Central Team to find out how our politicians have managed to heal everyone they have run their eyes over.

Be honest Modi jiu, are you sending people to steal our miraculous healers or their eyes?? Your intentions don’t seem to be good.

You travel the whole world at every opportunity You get. Tell me, did you go into quarantine Yourself?? I didn’t think so either. So HOW DARE YOU tell us to go into isolation or whatever fancy fad you are obsessed with these days?

You Sir may be the elected Prime Minister of the largest democracy on earth, but HOW DARE YOU question the infallibility of our nominated politicians??

So far we only have one known COVID death, ONLY 1 in the entire two districts that we know of, and You are sending a whole team of specialists to check on the situation in our Darjeeling and Kalimpong districts – WHY? We don’t need specialists, what we need is MONEY, FUNDS, FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE, SPECIAL ECONOMIC PACKAGE – Send those, not specialists.

By the way, until You can send us the money, DON’T YOU DARE do anything to demoralize our beloved leaders. If you send enough money though, we may consider permitting you that privilege too. You can demoralize us, You can demean us, You can discriminate against us – provided you pay the appropriate price for it.